I'm a New Christian--Why is Everything a Mess?

So you have surrendered your life to Christ-congratulations! I rejoice with you, Jesus, and the angels.

When I first gave my life to Lord, I was excited and nervous. Many times, I felt out of place. I didn't know anyone at church, but I didn't want to continue to live the same life that God had rescued me from.

Nobody told me being a Christian was going to be tough--I thought it was just a matter of professing a faith in God.

The truth is, becoming a Christian is not about joining a club, or adding a religion to your life. It is about exchanging your life for the life of Christ. It is about recognizing your need for the Savior and repenting of your sin. Granted, in the beginning, most of us are not aware of the depth of our sin. Sure, we acknowledge that we "make mistakes" every now and then, but to classify ourselves as a sinner might be a stretch.

Still, we choose to accept Jesus into our hearts because we hear about God's unconditional love and grace--we hear about how much peace and joy we will have as a result. Every word of this is true, but it's not the whole story.

If you are a new Christian, you might be asking, "Where is this peace I was promised? Why didn't all my troubles go away--everything is a mess." The whole Christianity thing might even disillusion you--even has you thinking about moving on, or going back to what you had before.

If this is you today, keep reading. I pray from the depth of my soul that this information will help shed some light on the subject. Believe me; I know where you are coming from as I experienced it first hand. For many, accepting Christ as their Savior is only a matter of time. They are raised in the church; they have many Christian friends, or they believe in God and practice a faith, which soon reveals the need for total surrender and repentance.

This was not the case for me--God called me at a time when I was doing my own thing, not giving one thought to Him or His people. I just didn't care one way or the other.

Nevertheless, God had other plans and He began to complete the work He started in my life when I was 16 years-old, this being the age I quickly said a prayer to invite Jesus into my life, just to shut someone up. I didn't mean it and had neither intention or desire of changing my ways. Having to and wanting to are the key differences between joining a religion and entering into a relationship with God.

With this being said, let's look at the main theological--or spiritual thing that takes place the moment we ask Jesus to come into our life.

Spiritual birth becoming a child of God

"And you he made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who works in the sons of disobedience." Eph 2:2

"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him, who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy." 1Pet 2:9-10.

Then we have the words from Jesus that we need to be born again. Meaning, everyone is born physically, but only those who respond to the call of God are born spiritually and given the right to be called a child of God. (John 1:12; 3:1-6)

Understanding darkness is the key to understanding the battle that begins to take place in our hearts. When we become a Christian, we are given a new nature. The Bible often refers to this as the new man and is contrasted with the old man. The books of Romans, Ephesians and Colossians have a lot to say about how these two natures are in extreme conflict with one another.

Dying to the old nature and living in the new nature is what God desires of us. Changing our way of thinking and living--being made pure--is called the sanctification process.

Unfortunately, the older we are when we become a Christian, the harder it is to change our ways. This is one of the many reasons why God gave us his Holy Spirit. The Spirits' job is to convict us, comfort us, and give us the wisdom to move forward.

Upon receiving Christ, you may have felt sudden conviction; as if a light went on in your head, you might have been flooded with feelings of guilt and shame over things you did that you never gave a second thought to before. In addition, this probably didn't leave you with warm fuzzy feelings of peace. More than likely, you cried--I know I did--for what seemed like days.

The good news is this doesn't last forever, God is faithful and will not make you wallow in your shame. Soon you will feel light as you continue to confess and apologize for your sinful behavior and make a commitment to turn away from it. This is called repentance. Repentance simply means to turn away from one thing and run to something different. It's a bit more than this, but this is a good starting point.

Getting back to darkness--the devil, who is Satan, is the prince of darkness and ruler of this world. As Ephesians tells us, before Christ we were governed by the world's standard. The darkness will not let go of God's child easily, in fact, I can guarantee he will do everything in his power to discourage you. He will fill your head with lies, he will use your old friends to ridicule you and call you names. This too, will fade after awhile when he realizes you will not fall for it--in the meantime, be ready it will come. Again, God is his goodness makes provision for this.

"Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord and the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Eph 6:10-12

The key here is "in the power of His might. This too, is a foreign concept because in our old nature, we did what we felt was right, we relied on our own strength, and we certainly did not look to His word for truth. The challenge comes in putting his ways above our own, it is relying on his strength and wisdom to make our decisions and it is trusting that he knows what is best. The bigger challenge is accepting his word for what it is and not making excuses to continue in sinful behavior. Jesus said if you love me, you will keep my commandments. Granted, this will take time--remember the sanctification process. As you grow in understanding, you grow in love, which leads to a desire to be obedient. And really, its a better way to live and has fewer consequences anyway.

It is impossible for me to share everything in one article, but I do hope this explains some of what you might be feeling--and whatever you do, don't run from the greatest thing you have ever done. It is eternally worth it.

If you are not sure where to start reading in the great big book called the Bible, I would suggest starting with the book of Ephesians. It is a great summary of who is responsible for salvation, it explains redemption, it covers the old and new man, it gives us the tools to respond to our faith, and it does it all in six chapters! Read it several times before moving on--at least five if not 10. You don't have to be overwhelmed by the size of the Bible, take it one little book at a time.

From Ephesians, move on to 1 John, Galatians, and then the Gospel of John, but this is just a suggestion. Others read the Gospel of John first and move forward from there. For me, it was easier to start with the shorter books of the Bible. "Evidence for Faith 101" by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz is a great tool to assist you as you get started.

God bless you as you continue to grow in faith!

(C)Teresa Ortiz 2008 All rights reserved