Hppy - Sad- Joyful

My mind is a whirlwind, my heart torn in two-one minute happy, the next one blue.

Hey, sounds like a poem- a poet maybe? Nah, better not quit my day job.

I think I'll just write a little-never mind rhymes and grammar, just a way to organize my thoughts.

Next Thursday my husband will be leaving for Arizona. He was offered a job a few weeks ago and we have been praying and debating if this was God's answer to prayer. Funny how it works sometimes. I feel like Gideon, we layed out our fleece before God- Lord, if it's your will, make it clear, if nothing comes up here at home, we will know it's your way of providing. Days go by, nothing comes up- Lord, please bring work in, what's going on?

I can almost hear God saying, "Duh, I gave you the answer, what more do you want"? Okay, so maybe God didn't say duh, but I'm pretty sure the answer was clear.

So here we are, preparing for him to leave. We have never been apart longer than 2 weeks-and that didn't work out to well for us being he came home with a TATTOO, not that I have issues with that, all has been forgiven. In fact I have my appointment set for my Budweiser tattoo Friday morning. (Not really, but sounded good.)

I am happy for God's amazing provision. I am excited about the bigger picture. But then it is in my nature to always look at the bigger picture-some accuse me of not living for today, but for me, I can't live for today without it. Especially in this case. Not looking ahead at exciting possibilities would only cause me to look at God and say, why would you take him so far away? Why not give him a job here at home-I don't get you.

But then I am sad because I am going to miss being with him at the end of everyday. It's my comfortable routine and this will not be the case for quite sometime. I don't mean to whine, I know many of you have done this and are doing it know, but it is all new for me.

My son is already stepping up. Art is going over everything and making sure we will be equipped to deal with the uncertainty of winter in Oregon.

To make myself feel better, I have made a list of things I will do to keep busy in the evenings:

1. Catch up on my list of books to read.

2. Dust off the treadmill, put the junk away, stand on it and consider turning it on.

3. Unpack the last of the boxes from our move.

4. Catch up on my list of books to read.

5. Write another Bible study.

6. Stand on the clean treadmill, turn it on, then turn it off.

7. Go out on a date or two with my boyfri-I mean son. (Don't be startin' rumors.)

8. Thank God for my incredible husband for his willingness to provide for his family.

9. Stand on the clean treadmill, turn it on, keep it on and get in great shape for my gorgeous hunk of a construction worker husband.

10. Rejoice in the Lord for His goodness.

Okay, I am done rambling. Thanks for listening and bear with me these next few months as my stories go from happy to sad to joyful.

Teresa Ortiz