Roller Derby, Taco Bell, and Rumors

As we walked through the doors, we knew we were in another time and place, though not sure which one. Forget about Greek Mythology, there is no myth about it, for there she was right in front of me, the one and only--Medusa. The snakes in her hair left a lot to be desired, but rest assured it was she. The noise, that strange noise, in an instant it took control and our bodies began to move, the walk became a strut and every few seconds a streak of light flew right past us brightening the path.


Coming our way was King Andromeda. Cleary he was the Great-Great Grandson of Darth Vader, who exchanged the boring glow stick for a ray gun with flashing lights and noises designed to confuse and distract the enemy.


The crowd-they were a fine mix of Hippy, Goth, Cowboy, and the unusual, like me. Nevertheless, none of us felt out of place or unwelcomed. We were in a sense family-drawn together for a common purpose.


The Purpose?


To witness "The Track Town-Smack Down – Roller Derby Double Header". Put on by the Emerald City Roller Girls.


As we took our seats, the skaters were warming up. This arena was much different from that of the Thunder Birds from the late 70's-no ramped--rink with bars. Bummer, I don't get to see skaters pushed over the side of the bars. Instead, it was a flat surface with painted lines.


B-o-r-i-n-g.


Once the first bout was underway, I was happy to see that watching skaters slide across the floor and into the crowd was just as exciting as watching them fly over the bars!


Another one bites the dust… and another one's gone, and another one's gone…

"Go get her, Bullet Brains! No mercy--push her out of the way...Tuck your body, get your feet closer together.."

Oh, um, forgive me, just a little bit of my evil twin coming out. Scratch that from the record.

Watching these girls battle it out was so much fun and we plan to go back. This time with our war paint and suitable attire, no boring jeans and t-shirt for this roller derby fan.


However, this is not the real story I wanted to tell. I really just wanted to tell you about our trip after we left the derby.


My husband and daughter were hungry so we drove through Taco Bell.


"What should I get?" asks Art.


"Crunchy Tacos", I say.


"I'll take two bean and cheese burritos with no onions and five frenchy tacos please."


Brittany and I could not stop laughing. Art was so embarrassed! When the girl came back on the intercom, she was trying hard not to laugh. She asked him to repeat his order. He repeats the order and then adds:


"They are still laughing at me."


At this, she could not contain her laughter. We didn't think anything of it. That is until we pulled up to the window.


She explained to Art that she was laughing even harder because the customer who was at the window while Art said we were still laughing at him, thought he said something else. After a moment of prodding, she said that the customer made a strange face and said,


"Did he just ask you for a lap-dance please?"


Oh my Gosh! We couldn't believe it. I think she welcomed the break in what was turning out to be a long night for her.


Can you imagine?


"I'll take five frenchy tacos and a lap dance, please."


This is how rumors get started.


© Teresa Ortiz