I had been on my fourth 55-hour workweek. I had no time for anything. Everything was out of control. I was too tired to read and too tired to pray.
To be perfectly honest, I was a complete grump. (Some might call it something else - they wouldn't be wrong.)
I convinced myself that a 20oz Triple Shot White Mocha and my old Disco CD's were the answer. These were sure to give me the energy I needed. Ha! Nothing could have been further from the truth. In fact, it made things worse, as I became a wide-awake grump!
When I put God on the back burner (not consciously, of course), my spirit was in a state of famine and I was definitely not reflecting the attitude of Christ to anyone around me.
My children started to ask me why I was so mad all the time. My response (in a cool, cold sort of way) was, "I'm not mad, just tired". Unfortunately, this became the rule instead of the exception.
The Holy Spirit began to convict my heart and I had to face the sad fact that I wasn't exactly making it easy for my family to love me.
Once again, the Lord brought me back to His word: "Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, On those who hope in His mercy, To deliver their soul from death, And keep them alive in famine. Psalm 33:18-19
Oh Yeah, I almost forgot, His mercy that will sustain me and keep me alive during the busiest times of my life. (I just gotta say it, duh!) As usual, I sought His forgiveness and He restored my joy.
It's no surprise that my husband and children were happy. My children began to make comments like, "Wow mom, it's good to see you not so tired anymore." (Paraphrase for; thank God she's not a grouch!)
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity to share with them the power of putting God first. What a testimony to my children! I was still working the same amount of hours. Nevertheless, the Lord sustained me in my famine, and my soul was very much alive.
While it brings me great joy to say that those 55 hour workweeks are history, I must confess: I still listen to those old CD's on occasion and I dropped down to a 16oz single-shot white mocha.
Is there a difference? Yes, I do not count on them to get me through my day!
Father, thank you for gently bringing me back to the truth. I'm sorry for thinking that coffee could ever be my sustaining strength. Love in Jesus, Teresa
If you find yourself in this place, I encourage you to turn back to Jesus. Be blessed and be renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit today!
(C) Teresa Ortiz
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